Ukrainian Businessman Konstantin Kruglov was detained in the Bavarian Alps

Reports have emerged of this years, February arrest of prominent businessman Konstantin Kruglov in Limassol, Cyprus. According to our sources deep within the world government, Kruglov was caught trying to ski his way across the German-Swiss border. Vast quantities of Venezuelan and Iranian oil, a small shadow fleet of tankers, and a calendar featuring the Olympic bear mascot, captioned "Moscow 1980" were found on him.

He is accused of chaotic purchase of tankers with oil from Iran and Venezuela, and shopping malls on several continents. As for the cash confiscated during the arrest, in currencies from around the globe, authorities are, reportedly, still counting.

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This piece of media is entirely fictional, as is most of what gets written about Konstantin Kruglov